Sunday, 1 March 2015

New Blog Page!!

Hey guys,

I wanted to thank you all for being so supportive to me and this blog.
As I have had it since 2009, I decided to give my blog a make over and re brand..
For all of my posts, you can now follow my new blog page


Sunday, 1 February 2015

Mood Killers!

Have you ever been in a situation in the bedroom where it is great until one thing ruined it? Well, that is what a friend of mine and I were discussing the other day when she had a bit of a bad time with a guy. She had been dating this guy for a few weeks and she was really enjoying her time with him until one night, mid sex, he said, “we could be making babies right now.”
Instantly she was put off by this. It made me laugh so much that someone would say such a thing during sex.

So I decided to come up with my very own list of sex mood killers. The following are things I have noticed myself or happened to me whilst having sex or things my friends have told me. Y’all know I like to do my market research J

1)      Is it in yet?

Probably one of the worst mood killers EVER!! This is one that happened to me a few years back. At the time I was not so sexually active/knowledgeable and he was holding my hands with his and started banging away. I couldn’t feel much and I remember saying, “put it in already,” to which he responded, “It is in.” OOPS. Well, that one didn’t last long. LITERALLY.

2)      Who let the dogs out?

Got a cat or a dog? Do they like to watch you have sex? Do you feel awkward if your pet is watching? My dog Lula is highly attached and terrorizes any male that steps into my house.  Wouldn’t bother me so much to be honest but I know some people that find it very uncomfortable.

3)      Man in the mirror.

Ever been distracted by your own reflection? One of my best friends has a giant closet in her room that has a mirror on it so she can see herself when she is in bed. A while back she was having sex with this guy and for her; it was not an issue at all. For him, he kept getting irritated by it and hated it until she made him relax at the thought of it and then, started to bang her and look in the mirror the rest of the session. She said he was making it seem as if he was in a porno. Amazing!

4)      But first, let me take a selfie.

Umm, no, please don’t take a selfie of our after sex look. I am a queen of selfies, if you follow me on Instagram (@lalavak) you will see so, but even I am not one for the after sex selfie. Why?! So everyone can see you are getting laid? My bed hair and red cheeks can stay in the bedroom cheers.

5)      When Harry met Sally..

I have to say, this is something that really gets to me. Funny facial expressions and men’s noises. I genuinely crack up anytime I am with someone who has funny facial expressions in the bedroom. There was a guy once who had a quivering bottom lip. Yes, you read correctly. His bottom lip would quiver and he would make these awkward noises everytime he was about to cum! A friend of mine told me that he was hooking up with a girl once who not only would do this weird thing with her eyes but would scream so loudly, he had to shove his fist in her mouth or put a pillow over her head as it was so distracting for him. Hysterical!

6)      Everybody’s shuffling!

Never, I repeat NEVER leave your itunes on shuffle when having sex. Yes it starts great when R Kelly sex in the bedroom and Ginuwine  pony come on but then it skips to Westlife flying without wings or Atomic Kitten the tide is high and BOOM, the mood has gone and you both are laying there like ummm what now?! You genuinely do not know whether to laugh and make a joke from it or get up and run away.

7)      High Five!

I will be honest, for me, this is not such a mood killer. Maybe because I can at times be a bit of a nerd or an awkward person, but for some of my friends, this is a major oi va voy! One of my girls expressed her absolute cringe out of this when she hooked up with this cutie. She was on top and he came and was so excited he high fived her and she was not too pleased. My ex and I high fived each other once after a really good sesh and both found it hysterical. Each to their own.

8)      Say my name say my name..

Yeah, umm that is not my name! A very awkward moment I can imagine when having sex with someone and they call you by the wrong name. I think this is one that guys do more than girls. I don’t know any girl that has said the wrong guy’s name but one of my boys told me once that he said 3 names until he got to the right one and she pushed him off her, got up, put her clothes on and left his place. OUCH!

9)      Call on me, call on me..

What is possibly one of the worst things that could ever happen to you while you are having sex? This one is worse than a condom splitting, or one of you crying mid sex.. Leaving your phone on the bed and accidently calling someone. What would be the worst thing about that situation? Yeah, calling your parents’ house line. I will end it there. Goodnight.

10)   Goodnight sweetheart well it’s time to go..

There comes a time in every guy or girls life where you have got really drunk and ended up with someone at one of your places, started having sex and though you are really enjoying it, start to fall asleep. We all need some good shut eye, especially after a drunken night out, but at least try and enjoy the session without yawning, embarrassing or what!

Lots of love..

Little Miss V..xx



Wednesday, 21 January 2015

The Mighty O!

Earlier this week I was passed an article named “The Vaginal Orgasm Does Not Exist!”
It amused me to read that as an opening title as earlier last week, my girls and I were discussing orgasms.  Then I had a think, how different are men and women when it comes to orgasms?

I decided to research into this subject further and what was the first thing I read? ‘Men have a higher sex drive than women, pushing them to orgasm more often.’ I mean, really? As if we didn’t know that. By the amount of dick pictures I receive and how often men whip them out, it is beyond me that some of them still have full time jobs.

Anyway, further into my research I found out that the average man thinks about sex 34 times a day while for a woman, it is only 9. Now we all know I am not your average kind of girl, so I probably do think about sex around that a day (or more) but 34?! How does someone think about sex 34 times a day? No wonder why men never remember anything, they have been too busy in the day thinking about sex and bashing one out at the toilet at work!

Back to orgasms though, it seems as though it can be quite similar for both sex in terms of sensation and duration. Women have described the sensations of orgasm as beginning with a sense of suspension, quickly followed by an intensely pleasurable feeling that usually begins at the clitoris and spreads throughout the pelvis. The genitals are often described as becoming warm, electric or tingly, and these physical sensations usually spread through some portion of the body. Most women also feel muscle contractions in their vagina or lower pelvis, often described as "pelvic throbbing". Similarly, the male orgasm begins with a deep warmth or pressure that corresponds the point when ejaculation cannot be stopped. It is then felt as sharp, intensely pleasurable contractions involving the pelvic muscles, rectum and genitals. Finally, a warm rush of fluid or a shooting sensation is felt whilst semen is ejaculated.

The reason the article I was shown wrote that the vaginal orgasm doesn’t exist is because it has come to show that like I mentioned above, it is the clitoris that holds the key to female pleasure. Don’t know about all you ladies out there, but I am sure I can vouch for most females that when they have had an orgasm it is because the correct female erectile organs were effectively stimulated.

Well, you would know unless you have been hooking up with those guys who finger you as if they are stuffing a turkey, basically seeing how many fingers he can get up there without even paying any attention to the clit, the part that gets us going. Guys, remember, if you want to treat the vagina like a turkey, don’t forget the giblet!

To make you aware, you can release fluid (cum) without having an orgasm. Men, ever felt like you were going to cum and you reached that point and then released and nothing came out? Well congratulations, you had an orgasm without cum. It happens! Ladies, if you thought it was just you that doesn’t orgasm often, don’t worry, most women don’t orgasm every time they have sex. Yes we can cum often, but to have a mind blown, out of this world, blackout kind of orgasm is rare. Probably because men don’t know to stimulate the clit!!

If you are in a relationship, you would have learnt what gets you going and what brings you to the point of exhilaration. If not, try a friction position. This may help you have an orgasm during sex. Get on top, for example, so the top of your clit is rubbing directly on your partner’s pubic bone. Let your partner know when he’s on the right track, either by telling him what feels great or by moaning.

Ladies, you can’t talk the talk if you don’t know what turns you on. To train your body to be orgasmic, you have to masturbate! It’s the best way to learn what you will like. If you need some help in the form of a battery operated friend for some alone time, I highly recommend Vibrator Kingdom. They have products like no other site I have come across.

Check out their site
One of my favorite product of theirs is the Fairy Baby vibe, it even comes with a rechargeable USB lead.  and check out this one in their new range

If you have any comments on this subject I would love to hear your thoughts.

Ps.. Ladies, don’t forget to do your kegel exercises!

Email me
Tweet me @LittleMissVak


Lots of Love..

Little Miss V..x


Sunday, 4 January 2015

Things women do on a date!

Have you ever come back from a date and wondered why you did certain things? Like, could the date have gone better if you did something different? I went on a date not so long ago, the guy took me for dinner and I noticed myself having habits that I am actually now sure, most women have.

The menu

We went for dinner to a vegan restaurant - he knows I was vegan and am now veganarian (eat fish and eggs, no meat or dairy) so he chose the place which I liked. Anyway, if any of you reading have been to a vegan restaurant, you will know that the menu isn’t your simple Ceaser salad or burger and chips. No no, everything is slightly more complex. So usually on a date you look at the menu and start analyzing, like is that too expensive? If I get and burger and fries will he think I am an obese pig? But if I get a salad I will still be hungry and want desert.. etc etc, you know what I mean. Here, I was trying to decide if the cashew parmesan for the spelt pasta will get stuck in my teeth or the cress from the god knows what sandwich it was, get stuck down my throat. Anyway, whilst thinking about all of this, he was talking and talking and all I wanted to do was scan the menu!


Have you realised, when you go on a date you make extra effort? Usually, and do not deny, you spend 80% of your time home in your pjs and even when going out, jeans and a t-shirt with bed hair, but for a date it’s much more effort spent, extra time on the makeup and you even blow dry your hair, all for someone you may never see again!


Whilst on this date, and actually others, I try to do a full once over look. What kind of shoes is he wearing? Does he have dirt in his finger nails? Does he slurp when he drinks or eats with his mouth open? Obviously, these are all put off signs. Did he talk about his family? Love his mum? He is a keeper!

Awkward silence!

THE WORST EVER!! Honestly, there is nothing I hate more than when you are on a date and it goes silent. Both of you sit there wondering if the other will say something and then when they don’t, you make sure you do so it doesn’t stay awks for too long.


For some people, the conversation gets going and doesn’t stop. But sometimes, you have to think before you speak. Will he find my job interesting? Will he remember the names of all my girls I have talked about? This guy blurted out some gibberish about his ex-girlfriend and straight away, I was put off. He kept trying to get around it though after.

 Phone down!

As women, we love our phones and love to be social, but unless it is your emergency person calling to help you get out of the date, do not answer any other phone calls. You would be pissed off if he did. You wanna update your friends? Pop to the bathroom and message them ASAP!


Talking of keeping your phone away unless you need it to call your “Bail me out of date” person. I think most of us have bailed on a date. I have, twice. Both in the last year actually. One I used the excuse that I felt dizzy and needed to go home, and the other, well I told him I was a transgender going through my change and still had a dick.. True story!


Have you ever been on date and you got butterflies because you thought “WOW, he could be the one!?” Yeah, I am sure many of you reading said no. It is not something that happens often. When it does, it is great and you want a second date as soon as possible, but if it hasn’t happened by date three, move on. I blame Disney for this whole butterfly thing. You know, as a kid you watched these movies and there was always a happy ever after with birds and butterflies. These days it is more like rats and insects!

Smart Ass

For some reason, when I go on a date, I try to talk about what is going on in the news at the time, just to try and seem a bit smarter. I know you ladies reading do the same. Guys, I have just given away a big secret. But tis true, we do like to pretend we are smarter than we are. Remember girls, if he asks you a question on a subject you know nothing about, change subject by asking him a question. Men are dumb, he will never even realise.


I am always late. When I die, I will probably be late for my own funeral. I cannot help it. Sometimes it is just fashionably late, sometimes, late late! When late to a date, it isn’t actually because we are trying to be fashionable. It is more like we are scatter brained, indecisive and spent 45 minutes trying to find the perfect outfit.
I hope when reading this you found some similarities to yourselves.
If you have anything to add, just let me know at
Lots of Love..
Little Miss V..x



Tuesday, 25 November 2014

To Rebound Or To Not Rebound Sex..

There has come a stage in each one of our lives where we have broken up from a partner and felt a little sad and lonely. You know, that part where you are in bed, all alone, wishing someone else was there next to you, until BOOM, you turn over in the bed to cuddle the person you thought was there and instead, discover a whole side to a bed you didn’t know you had! The cold, soft side has been there all along, who knew?! You now don’t feel so alone. You lay in bed making angel shapes as if you were in the snow as you have so much space.

But what happens when you turn back to your side and no one is there to spoon you and turn you on in the middle of the night. Then, the sense of loneliness comes back to haunt you. 

Then you think to yourself, wouldn’t a bit of rebound sex fix all these bad feelings I am having?
When I broke up with my ex, I genuinely made a rebound sex list. I have a high sex drive, I enjoy sex but now I am not in a relationship, I thought to myself, “What am I going to do?” So I made a list. A list of potential people I could sleep with including people I previously dated, people I previously slept with, friends I have a crush on, a bar tender from a bar down the road and even a guy from Tinder. There they were. All these names on a list and I didn’t know where to start.

Don’t get me wrong and think I am an emotionless bitch. (Umm ok, I kinda am!) I do have feelings, (sometimes) and was sad to be going through a break up but I am just not one of those girls who can sit and mope around. I have an ego. I need to feel desirable again and I personally think the best way to get over a break up is go out and have fun. (That doesn’t mean go have sex with every Tom, Dick and Harry.) I mean to go out with your girls, meet some guys and not sit around at home crying over past pictures or messages. There is a reason you broke up, take it, embrace it and move on.

So I have come up with some steps to navigate whether or not you are ready for rebound sex:

1)      Be true to yourself.
If this break up has torn you to the point that you cannot eat, sleep or get out of bed and feel like death is the next step, then do not do it. You are not ready. Don’t even pretend and say “I’m fine” because you are not. Casual sex will make you feel like shit and you may decide to slit your wrist after for feeling like a whore.

2)      Be honest with your partner.
If you are able to get out of bed, go have fun and have casual sex, let the person know where you are at. If you just want to let your inner sexual beast out and are not wanting anything more than some NSA sex, let them know. Let your partner make the decision as to whether or not they want to hook up with you in your current situation. Girls, guys will not give a shit that you just broke up with someone. In fact, guys like being rebound shag. Guys, be honest with the girl. Girls do not take things the same way and may feel as if they are being used. Honesty is the best policy here bitches!

3)      Do it for the right reasons.
You may have had a shitty break up and are pissed off at your ex. If this is the case, don’t go and shag your ex’s best friend to get back at them. Never be that kind of moron! It may be that near the end, the sex was lame and you are gagging for a good session. Have rebound sex because you want to feel good!

4)      If your feelings change, stop!
Sometimes when you come out of a relationship you move on, have casual sex and think you can handle it. Next thing you know, you are into your new fuck buddy and you start getting feelings. If that happens, stop. It will only be yourself that will get hurt. Do not mix sex and emotions. Never a happy ending.

5)      Be safe!
Most of you are not stupid enough to go hang out at your local hooker alley and by drugs, so I don’t mean you need to be safe in that way, I have faith in y’all. What I mean is to be safe and use protection because you know, when you are in a relationship it is great not to have to use condoms and now that you are sleeping with the old crush, the tinder and the bar tender, you never know who they have been sleeping with. Don’t be a fool, wrap the tool!

Lots of Love..

Little Miss V..xx

Monday, 10 November 2014

You're Hot & You're Cold.. You're Yes & You're No!

You know what it’s like girls. You are dating a guy, he is excited to be with you, wants to see you all the time, even gets you little gifts, calls and messages all the time and then suddenly, the shift. Something changes and he pulls back.

He stops making plans like he used to and starts making excuses. You start to feel like you did something wrong or he just doesn’t like you as much anymore.

As females, we always think it is us and it is our fault because we are full of feelings and emotions. But let me tell you something girls, it IS the typical “it’s not you it’s me” thing. Why is that? Because men are a completely weird and fucked up species? Yes, that too, but the real reason is because men get scared. They like to act like they are tough and hard on the outside, but on the inside, they are weak and also, full of emotions that they don’t know how to handle.

When a man gets truly close to a woman and deeply intimate for any extended period of time, he loves that feeling and wants more of it. But the strange part of this is that the moment a man experiences this period of intense closeness, he will take some space for himself. It’s like he needs to recover from something, like injuring a muscle after a workout and needs to be rested, that is how a man is. He needs to be alone before he can be strong again.

But why does being in a relationship make a man feel weak?

There is something that I have come to realize, and that is, a man needs to feel like he has a purpose. That is the only reason a man may want to withdraw from you, is because he is not living his purpose. You see, it is important for him to know what he is doing in life and what his purpose is. It could be excelling in his work, having his own company or even training in a sport. Sometimes a man doesn’t even know what his purpose is.

When a man isn’t going after his own purpose or has fallen away from it, he will become irritated and it will often get in the way of the relationship he is in.

For a prime example, take my friend *Melody. She had been with her boyfriend for nearly two years. They lived together and everything was going great until one day he told her he needed a break. She was gob smacked and shocked as she thought everything was fine! Why did he need a break? Because he had lost himself slightly within the relationship. He had stopped playing tennis every week like he used to and even stopped plans of a business he was trying to open. Though he loved Melody, he couldn’t continue the relationship with her if he couldn’t fulfil his life purposes. When she came to me for advice, I told her that she needs to let him go and do his thing. Give him space and let him find himself again and his purpose in life and in no time he will come running back. Though she didn’t want to be without him, she did just that and only a month later, he had his shit figured out and knew that he needed her in his life and she was part of his “purpose.”

So, what to do if your man is withdrawing from you ladies?

1)      Never give him an ultimatum!!
This is the number 1 no no! When a guy is already in a weak state and is already withdrawn from you, by telling him, “it’s me or the business” (for example) he will most certainly not chose you. You are just adding unnecessary pressure that he does not need at that time.

2)      Do not try and convince him of something.
You may think you know your man well, and I am sure you do, but do not try to convince him of something when deep down, he is unsure. Like an ultimatum, you want a man to be committed to you on a physical, mental and emotional level without added force,

3)      Don’t overshare your feelings.
As women, we like to talk. We want to be open with our man and hope he will do the same in return. Well guess what ladies? This won’t happen. You think by sharing your feelings first, he will share his in return. But if he is already being withdrawn from you, this will frustrate him as if he knows you well, he will know you are only trying to get something out of him. Once he is recharged and ready to share his emotions with you, he will. Don’t rush him.

4)      Do not set unrealistic expectations.
You know when things are going well with a guy, you get excited. You want to move things forward even when they guy has not said anything about a next step. Then the typical happens, the guy stops calling or texting and the girl is left speechless and has no idea what the hell is going on. Why did this happen? Because women like to create expectations about how the relationship should be and how he should act. When this doesn’t go the way we want, you become disappointed. This then winds up in confrontation in an angry way and creates distance and tension. The flip of it is, the woman will then try to act as if she is totally fine with it being a casual relationship when deep down, she is fuming. It is only natural.

So what it comes down to is being yourself and letting your man be himself. No pressure, no ultimatums and no pushing. Let him have his space, always, and let him have some control like a man feels like he should. By doing all of the above, hopefully you and your man will have the perfect relationship.

Lots of love..

Little Miss V..xx

Sunday, 26 October 2014

A Dick A Week!

You probably clicked on this in hopes of reading that I get a dick a week. Steady on, I'm not that easy. But the title is true. You see, having a blog like this and having an email address makes some guys think that it is ok to send me dick pictures. Sorry, my profile says about who I am and what I do, not 'please go ahead and send me a picture of your wrinkled, shrivelled up man package.'

When did it become socially ok to just randomly send someone, who you don't even know, a picture of your private parts? Don't get me wrong, I have sent a few pictures in my time but usually to guys I am having a sexual relationship with at the time. There are a lot of internet trolls out there and you need to know the person you are sending pictures to as you never know where they will end up otherwise.

I think it is actually great when couples send each other dirty pictures of themselves. A recent survey conducted revealed that 36% of women are sending or posting nude images of ourselves to guys. 72% send them to be 'fun or flirtatious', and 59% will send snaps as a sexy present for their boyfriend. For a lot of us, sexting can help keep the relationship going, especially when it is long distance and you aren’t able to see each other as often as you would like to or you might just miss each other and want to let them know what they will be coming home to, and that is FINE! What is not fine is when people decide to share these pictures with other people. If I send you a racy picture, it is because I trust you, and trust you not to share it with your group of boys.

Personally, I see "sexting" as a harmelss bit of fun. Girls, if you want to message a guy naughty words and tell him all the things you want to do to him, DO IT! Boys, if you want to send a picture of your jolly rancher to a girl, DO IT! If you are going to say things, live up to it. No point being all mouth. (Well, depends where your mouth is going to be!)

The thing I find amusing about sexting are the ‘talkers’ and when it comes to it, they are for sure not ‘doers.’ For example, I met this guy once and our chat instantly became very flirty and he would message me all the things he ‘wanted to do to me.’ When it came to it, it was one of the worst shags of my life. He was all talk, well, all message. It is very easy to type something reckless…crazy…risqué…yes you see the words, but most of us feel less of a commitment emotionally to the written word. Many men can write the words “I love you” in a valentine’s card or in a text message, but actually saying those three little words out loud, no chance!! In much the same way, writing down what you would like to do sexually is a lot easier than saying it. I mean, whilst in the bedroom, could you actually imagine saying out loud the filthy things you can say in a message? No, me neither!

So from this post, guys, please don’t use this as an opportunity to attempt to send me a picture of your little friend. If I want it, I will ask for it!
I would love to know if any of you have any funny stories in regards to ‘sexting!’

Email me at

Lots of love,

Little Miss V xx