We went for dinner to a vegan restaurant - he knows I was vegan and am now veganarian (eat fish and eggs, no meat or dairy) so he chose the place which I liked. Anyway, if any of you reading have been to a vegan restaurant, you will know that the menu isn’t your simple Ceaser salad or burger and chips. No no, everything is slightly more complex. So usually on a date you look at the menu and start analyzing, like is that too expensive? If I get and burger and fries will he think I am an obese pig? But if I get a salad I will still be hungry and want desert.. etc etc, you know what I mean. Here, I was trying to decide if the cashew parmesan for the spelt pasta will get stuck in my teeth or the cress from the god knows what sandwich it was, get stuck down my throat. Anyway, whilst thinking about all of this, he was talking and talking and all I wanted to do was scan the menu!
Have you realised, when you go on a date you make extra effort? Usually, and do not deny, you spend 80% of your time home in your pjs and even when going out, jeans and a t-shirt with bed hair, but for a date it’s much more effort spent, extra time on the makeup and you even blow dry your hair, all for someone you may never see again!
Whilst on this date, and actually others, I try to do a full once over look. What kind of shoes is he wearing? Does he have dirt in his finger nails? Does he slurp when he drinks or eats with his mouth open? Obviously, these are all put off signs. Did he talk about his family? Love his mum? He is a keeper!
THE WORST EVER!! Honestly, there is nothing I hate more than when you are on a date and it goes silent. Both of you sit there wondering if the other will say something and then when they don’t, you make sure you do so it doesn’t stay awks for too long.
For some people, the conversation gets going and doesn’t stop. But sometimes, you have to think before you speak. Will he find my job interesting? Will he remember the names of all my girls I have talked about? This guy blurted out some gibberish about his ex-girlfriend and straight away, I was put off. He kept trying to get around it though after.
As women, we love our phones and love to be social, but unless it is your emergency person calling to help you get out of the date, do not answer any other phone calls. You would be pissed off if he did. You wanna update your friends? Pop to the bathroom and message them ASAP!
Talking of keeping your phone away unless you need it to call your “Bail me out of date” person. I think most of us have bailed on a date. I have, twice. Both in the last year actually. One I used the excuse that I felt dizzy and needed to go home, and the other, well I told him I was a transgender going through my change and still had a dick.. True story!
Have you ever been on date and you got butterflies because you thought “WOW, he could be the one!?” Yeah, I am sure many of you reading said no. It is not something that happens often. When it does, it is great and you want a second date as soon as possible, but if it hasn’t happened by date three, move on. I blame Disney for this whole butterfly thing. You know, as a kid you watched these movies and there was always a happy ever after with birds and butterflies. These days it is more like rats and insects!
For some reason, when I go on a date, I try to talk about what is going on in the news at the time, just to try and seem a bit smarter. I know you ladies reading do the same. Guys, I have just given away a big secret. But tis true, we do like to pretend we are smarter than we are. Remember girls, if he asks you a question on a subject you know nothing about, change subject by asking him a question. Men are dumb, he will never even realise.
I am always late. When I die, I will probably be late for my own funeral. I cannot help it. Sometimes it is just fashionably late, sometimes, late late! When late to a date, it isn’t actually because we are trying to be fashionable. It is more like we are scatter brained, indecisive and spent 45 minutes trying to find the perfect outfit.
I hope when reading this you found some similarities to yourselves.
If you have anything to add, just let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org
Lots of Love..
Little Miss V..x