Sunday, 1 February 2015

Mood Killers!


Have you ever been in a situation in the bedroom where it is great until one thing ruined it? Well, that is what a friend of mine and I were discussing the other day when she had a bit of a bad time with a guy. She had been dating this guy for a few weeks and she was really enjoying her time with him until one night, mid sex, he said, “we could be making babies right now.”
Instantly she was put off by this. It made me laugh so much that someone would say such a thing during sex.


So I decided to come up with my very own list of sex mood killers. The following are things I have noticed myself or happened to me whilst having sex or things my friends have told me. Y’all know I like to do my market research J

1)      Is it in yet?

Probably one of the worst mood killers EVER!! This is one that happened to me a few years back. At the time I was not so sexually active/knowledgeable and he was holding my hands with his and started banging away. I couldn’t feel much and I remember saying, “put it in already,” to which he responded, “It is in.” OOPS. Well, that one didn’t last long. LITERALLY.


2)      Who let the dogs out?

Got a cat or a dog? Do they like to watch you have sex? Do you feel awkward if your pet is watching? My dog Lula is highly attached and terrorizes any male that steps into my house.  Wouldn’t bother me so much to be honest but I know some people that find it very uncomfortable.


3)      Man in the mirror.

Ever been distracted by your own reflection? One of my best friends has a giant closet in her room that has a mirror on it so she can see herself when she is in bed. A while back she was having sex with this guy and for her; it was not an issue at all. For him, he kept getting irritated by it and hated it until she made him relax at the thought of it and then, started to bang her and look in the mirror the rest of the session. She said he was making it seem as if he was in a porno. Amazing!


4)      But first, let me take a selfie.

Umm, no, please don’t take a selfie of our after sex look. I am a queen of selfies, if you follow me on Instagram (@lalavak) you will see so, but even I am not one for the after sex selfie. Why?! So everyone can see you are getting laid? My bed hair and red cheeks can stay in the bedroom cheers.


5)      When Harry met Sally..

I have to say, this is something that really gets to me. Funny facial expressions and men’s noises. I genuinely crack up anytime I am with someone who has funny facial expressions in the bedroom. There was a guy once who had a quivering bottom lip. Yes, you read correctly. His bottom lip would quiver and he would make these awkward noises everytime he was about to cum! A friend of mine told me that he was hooking up with a girl once who not only would do this weird thing with her eyes but would scream so loudly, he had to shove his fist in her mouth or put a pillow over her head as it was so distracting for him. Hysterical!


6)      Everybody’s shuffling!

Never, I repeat NEVER leave your itunes on shuffle when having sex. Yes it starts great when R Kelly sex in the bedroom and Ginuwine  pony come on but then it skips to Westlife flying without wings or Atomic Kitten the tide is high and BOOM, the mood has gone and you both are laying there like ummm what now?! You genuinely do not know whether to laugh and make a joke from it or get up and run away.


7)      High Five!

I will be honest, for me, this is not such a mood killer. Maybe because I can at times be a bit of a nerd or an awkward person, but for some of my friends, this is a major oi va voy! One of my girls expressed her absolute cringe out of this when she hooked up with this cutie. She was on top and he came and was so excited he high fived her and she was not too pleased. My ex and I high fived each other once after a really good sesh and both found it hysterical. Each to their own.


8)      Say my name say my name..

Yeah, umm that is not my name! A very awkward moment I can imagine when having sex with someone and they call you by the wrong name. I think this is one that guys do more than girls. I don’t know any girl that has said the wrong guy’s name but one of my boys told me once that he said 3 names until he got to the right one and she pushed him off her, got up, put her clothes on and left his place. OUCH!


9)      Call on me, call on me..

What is possibly one of the worst things that could ever happen to you while you are having sex? This one is worse than a condom splitting, or one of you crying mid sex.. Leaving your phone on the bed and accidently calling someone. What would be the worst thing about that situation? Yeah, calling your parents’ house line. I will end it there. Goodnight.


10)   Goodnight sweetheart well it’s time to go..

There comes a time in every guy or girls life where you have got really drunk and ended up with someone at one of your places, started having sex and though you are really enjoying it, start to fall asleep. We all need some good shut eye, especially after a drunken night out, but at least try and enjoy the session without yawning, embarrassing or what!

Lots of love..

Little Miss V..xx


 

 

4 comments:

  1. Came across your blog and found this post very interesting, especially number 6 - (personal experience lol). Really interesting blog in general. Would love for you to check out my blog:

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  2. Hey Linda,
    Ha number 6 happened to me once with an ex.. Take My Breath Away came on.. I wanted to dieeeee!!
    Gonna check out your blog :)

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